I was terrified to have two children this close together, but I have discovered that once you have entered toddler-hood it makes you laugh at how easy the baby stage really is. I did, however, luck out with an extremely easy going baby.
For the better part of my my 8 year marriage I have been pregnant. Ellis and Lou Lou were not as easy to come by as I would have liked. Over the course of an 8 year period I suffered 4 miscarriages at various stages of pregnancy. This led to countless surgeries and a slight reconstruction of my uterus followed by various injections and medications during my two pregnancies. All of this and the very short time span in which I had both children has caused some changes in my body that I am struggling with.
I can admit my faults and I have many; shocking I know! Let me start with just a few for this first post. I did not appreciate my pre-baby body when I had it and I am struggling to accept my changing body and looks. I wish I could say I don't care how I look, but I do. I had barely taken the weight off from kid number one when I got pregnant with number two. The weight is gone but the body has forever been altered. My maternity clothes are way too big but my regular pants wont button and the shirts wont fit over my new found nursing cleavage. I love clothes and I love to shop but with my altered body and two children to feed I am stuck in a world where nothing fits right and there is no money to buy new clothes. I understand how moms get stuck in a rut fashion wise and I am trying to avoid it without spending too much. So, the purpose of this blog is to document my attempt to stay fashionable in my new body while still using my old ill fitting clothes. Of course, I will also document my struggles as a working mom of two with a husband who works constantly!
Lets start with my less than perfect attempt at day 1. I am a high school teacher and we had a snow day yesterday. I spent the whole glorious day with my girls in our pajamas. I was not about to waste a whole day with my girls worrying about my outfit! Today, however, I am back at work and was trying to throw something together while simultaneously nursing Betsy Lou and singing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" with Ellis. It is also approximately 100 degrees below zero here today. After nursing, singing, and bundling up my children with enough layers to survive Antarctica I focused on me.
Everything I am wearing today was purchased in between the birth of Ellis and my pregnancy with Betsy Lou. It all comes from either JCrew or the JCrew outlet. The denim shirt is still ill fitting but I am trying to make it work. The leggings are my new go to because none of my jeans will button (must work out more, must work out more). My hair (which I neglected to wash today because I am getting a haircut!) is pulled back and I have a bandanna from Target that I have had since high school. I have managed to squeeze my body back into old clothes but it was a squeeze! I hope this blog makes me rethink my closet and come to terms with a changing and aging body.
